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 Never AFK

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 Never AFK's Aggro-Gator

 uncannie: And then when puberty happens, she won't shut up about it for 50 years.
 alborland: My daughter is 8 and is being miserable because she has not seen Peabody and Sherman yet, is this what your daughter wanted too?
 ironmaiden: YOu put my diary on the internet?! I HATE YOU!!!!
Image 215885   11-17-17 5:58pm   Views: 26444   Uploaded by    Never AFK
 UltraBeverly: She has mastered sparkle fingers to a degree I can only dream of.
 Shay: The Lesser, LESSER known member of the Jackson family.
Image 215109   11-13-17 4:40pm   Views: 141338   Uploaded by    Never AFK
 Not A Bot: I think I paid less than that yesterday for 2 five topping large pizzas at pizza the hutt
Image 214377   11-09-17 6:09pm     Uploaded by    Never AFK
 Ulillillia: And I mean done.
 Prostata: witty... *swipes right*
 Science: Being as I would likely be a miserable asshole if I ever had to deal with a handicap, people that can look on the bright side are always awesome to me.
 addend: Well... hello, angel-face.
Image 214266   11-09-17 03:03am     Uploaded by    Never AFK
 Gomi Day: man.. ice-t let himself go.
 demonius: photoshopped
 charlemagne: @WTF to be fair to him, to get that saggy he must of lost an awful lot of weight
 tib gubb: this just in - money is real gross
 charlemagne: he is a land mammal, right
 Sadbot: So I looked up Mike Busey and his shows, and they seem to exclusively feature guys that look like this and girls who look like the background ones here doing "depraved" stuff...but I'm just stuck on the awful double standard that is "fat slob/but the girl has to work out"
 WTF: Props for being comfortable with your body... And being comfortable making everyone else uncomfortable.
 Hosebag: Quickly, someone bring me a bottle of Easy Cheese. MOVE IT!
 CompletelyJoking: but you literally can't be on meth and that fat at the same time.
 Shorts Leng: Kind of scary to think "what is the bucket underneath him for"
 sparenamelaptopdied: Manspreading in all directions
 ignatz: It's a living. Until it kills you..
 DJSnoopMike: Pretty sure the last time this man saw, or touched his cock was in 1997.
Image 213225   11-03-17 4:40pm     Uploaded by    Never AFK
 draakeragon: Always happens to me. Every-time I get injured I get a biology flashback.
 addend: Stupid somatic nervous system.
Image 211410   10-25-17 12:03pm     Uploaded by    Never AFK
 Whatever: Congratulations on getting your license! Now drive to the store and get your drunk daddy some more beer
 Yurishiro: Borkfive!
 Catcat: Carjacking: better with a friend.
Image 211233   10-24-17 02:03am     Uploaded by    Never AFK
 Felicity: They got the Dustbuster in there! Nice! :-)
 Ulillillia: @Nope Joey hooked up with Jesse's sister, nice
 a robot: It took me a while to realize he is vacuuming the dog. And this is dumb and I should hate it but somehow I'm ok with its existence. Better than another pregnant Sonic or whatever
 fanny: @Nope I mean, it makes sense. He's blonde and dumb, and the kids are blonde and always fucking something up.
 Nope: Joey is the father of the children, discuss
 Dr Awkward: Cut. It. Out. (No, really, this is unbearable)
Image 210910   10-22-17 11:39am     Uploaded by    Never AFK
 Korrok: Korrok approves.
 Knice: Nailed it.
Image 210752   10-21-17 2:47pm     Uploaded by    Never AFK
 Science: Look, if you have that much problem pooping, there is something wrong with your diet.
 Snowta: I love my Squatty Potty
 Rat-Butt: ...and another $600 in emergency room visit...
 Rat-Butt: My son does this...I tried it...cost me about $500 in plumbing after I broke the damn toilet
 Felicity: Seems like all you need is a footstool (ha)
 Prostata: i refuse to believe dropping an upper decker is at all sanitary
 Mad Collager: Actually, they have a point. The Squatty Potty, besides having a funny ad, also actually works. However, you can accomplish the same thing by propping up your feet so your heels are at least four inches off the ground.
 Teechur: @VeeKay Heh...heh...you said, "coccyx"...
 Sadbot: More time spent shitting means more time for shitposting
 VeeKay: Not on my shoddily put together toilet. (I put it in). The seat falls off regularly, you'd end up with a fractured coccyx.
 tib gubb: maybe some people like to have difficult shits. have you ever thought of that?
 Knice: This is why I put on my skates to shit.
 a robot: Ok.
 grizzly: @danny test it out. Let us know.
 danny: Can't you just lean really far forward and accomplish the same thing? I get that gravity won't be as much of a help, but it should take care of straightening out the colon.
Image 209394   10-14-17 4:40pm     Uploaded by    Never AFK
 tib gubb: i assure you this was intentional... now get it off of me.
 TheFrogMan: My cat did this a couple of weeks ago. My closet door was open and he went in. He came out and I heard something scraping on the hardwoods. I look over and he's trying to sneak out of the bedroom without me seeing him in his shame. When I saw him I removed the plastic hanger, and he turned around and went back into the closet. One of the oddest interactions with him.
 randomhobo: Poor thing tried to hang itself
 BaconCake: What a novel way to store a cat...
Image 208134   10-08-17 08:07am     Uploaded by    Never AFK
 Felicity: Cat...Im a kitty cat! And I dance dance dance and I dance dance dance
 Sage: @WaffleIron Those stuffed animals can be vicious. Just ask Calvin!
 Himesama: "Duh I'm just a little fattie" (this is me speaking to the cat in my baby voice)
 WaffleIron: Pet one and choose your fate, for snuggles and joy or blood and tears await.
Image 207473   10-04-17 9:47pm     Uploaded by    Never AFK
 Felicity: Does horn mean depression? This is one bit of friendly spaceship jargon I havent learned yet
 Robespierre: Finished.
 Ulillillia: Jon Horn
 Dr Awkward: Gegar! Why is my Pasta broken?
Image 207000   10-02-17 3:26pm     Uploaded by    Never AFK
 Dr. Bathroom: Reminds me of my dad. Always beating up his kids and wearing no pants.
 annterland: FUCK OFF BABIES
 Skinr: Hey, it's Future-Man!
 Hosebag: You know, it's not easy juggling 4 kids...
 Greek Fire: Me when people start asking when I'm gonna settle down and raise a family.
 rip odb: Ooh baby baby ... ba-baby baby...
 nuke em: Kick the baby.
 Sadpygmy: I hate hen the genii jump me as I get out of the shower
 lolnotrly: "Get these blame things off of me!"
 violentwrath: They are not children, they're *genii*, guardian spirits from Roman mythology.
Image 206653   09-30-17 7:07pm     Uploaded by    Never AFK
 Mr Bleak: Recursive burgers.
 Felicity: Sliderburger
 Dr. Bathroom: This has Japan written all over it.
 lecj07: *heavy breathing*
 Spazstatic: @Prostata all the carbs, all of them.
 Mr. Whiskers: Yo dawg...
 Prostata: this is really just a lot of bun
Image 205479   09-24-17 8:46pm     Uploaded by    Never AFK
 Winterneuro: @Prostata it doesnt matter. The person this was made for is color blind.
 Prostata: children's toys have gone to hell in a handbag, I tells ya
 Prostata: who fact checked this shit?
 Felicity: No horseshoes?
 Robespierre: (Where's Mean Gene Otterpop when you really need him?)
 Robespierre: @crunchymush It looks more like the legendary "squared circle" to me.
 crunchymush: That's a hexagon, not an octagon. Way to go, buddy!!
 Soy Peso: It's a Rhombus. Diamond is a mineral.
 gorilla: Wait a minute... THIS LESBIAN BAR DOESN'T HAVE A FIRE EXIT!
Image 205057   09-22-17 5:40pm     Uploaded by    Never AFK
 Hosebag: Just saying, I think you look better without the makeup.
 Mr Shifty: Someone's fetish
 wolfpk: This wouldn't fall under the banner of plushie, but it must be somewhere in that category.
 El hefe: I like it with the mask on
 Butcherboy: Is that the alien from tommyknockers?
 Shay: @jochenau Pffff, yea right. And you're gonna say Zelda is a girl.
 jochenau: Samus is a girl?!
 WTF: My dates always ended with the opposite, I'd pull off my human mask revealing the alien underneath.
 Knice: "I'll be right out; just need to finish putting my face on!"
Image 204186   09-18-17 11:07am     Uploaded by    Never AFK
 funny in the wall: @a robot i guess i'll go to fart college
 petepuma: Ernest Borgnine approves
 DrinkMixMan: Tonight's game against the Cleveland Steamers!
 El Barto: Whilst under the covers lift a leg or two then drop it quickly and you can achieve a fan forced dutch oven. Enjoy!
 E. HONDA: Is their mascot a blond kid with a bowl cut?
 Shay: Just whatever you do, don't light a match under the covers.
 a robot: @funny in the wall I read that in Homer Simpson's voice youtu.be/…
 funny in the wall: Farts are funny
Image 203298   09-13-17 8:27pm     Uploaded by    Never AFK
 jazzjunkie: This info graphic is just chocked full of bad information.
 FabricMan: But then there's that 37th time...
 iatemyhomework: Does this make me an accomplice?
 Yurishiro: But if you walk past...you time traveled? *stoner look in the void*
 Air Biscuit: @Amy Housewine *36 times per murderer
 Amy Housewine: The same murderer?
Image 202382   09-09-17 04:37am     Uploaded by    Never AFK
 savvoy: SUVs carry those as lifeboats. The car, I mean.
 Teechur: Found it! youtube.com/…
 Rat-Butt: That scooter is from the crap fest known as the Go-Bots...uhg, at least that scooter is better the Scooter in the show...and, yes, he was called "Scooter"
 Teechur: I remember reading an article 30+ years ago about a car (Honda City?) that came with a small motorcycle instead of a spare tire, if I'm not mistaken.
 Felicity: Le Car has been hitting the gym!
 well duh: This is a pic of a model kit. I wanted this so effing bad when I was a kid.
 Wet farts: That motocompo is rad as hell
 Rat-Butt: I. Want. That. Car. And. Moped. Combo. NOW, I WANT I WANT I WANT
 BavidDowie: Is at least one of these solar-powered?
Image 200954   09-01-17 10:37pm     Uploaded by    Never AFK
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