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 jochenau

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i before e except in the alphabet


 

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 jochenau's Aggro-Gator



 glenalec: People always ask me if I am on a diet because I am an obese man who eats a lot of salad. But I gave up dieting long ago and simply like salads. :-/
 ignatz: @sparenamelaptopdied I remember, that was Margaret Thatcher's cabinet..
 Warrax: HA HA HA!
 duckfarts: salads: the favorite meal of murderers who got away with it
 Jabberwikket: Its missing something. Maybe a small picture in the middle of someone stuffing giant hunks of cake into them with both hands
 BlarfyB: GOD, I LOVE SALAD!!
 Air Biscuit: Just nutritious things.
 sparenamelaptopdied: "What about the vegetables?" .. "Oh, they'll have the same as me" .... (Spitting Image quote - don't get all PC on me..)
 Himesama: I only like chefs salads everything else can kiss my ass
 Hosebag: Advertising makes me want to punch a baby.
 Whatever: Bowling for greens
 Spazstatic: @Theta Zero I keep stabbing it with a fork, but it just won't stop!
 Cami: Salads are serious business. Stop screwing around.
 Theta Zero: Salads tell the best jokes
Image 218895   12-03-17 5:40pm     Uploaded by    Prombom
 Teechur: *tap *tap "Is this thing on? *ahem "BAAAWWWK!!"
 Mad Collager: Well fuck, that's cute. (You saw it above first.)
 redmonkey3: He only has to scare you / make you jump Once!
 FabricMan: *kiss*
 Yam: Hello, headbird!
Image 218688   12-02-17 3:26pm     Uploaded by    hat thrab
 antipatterns: I'm nominating this haircut for a Nobel Prize
 zrj235: so i think i joined a gang today...
 funny in the wall: Jesus, how I love you, how I love you, Jebus
Image 218271   11-30-17 11:08am     Uploaded by    spydermon
 Robespierre: Where will YOU be when The Wideness strikes?
 Side Boob: There's a glitch in the Matrix again.
 daver: And a foot.
 Mustyrats: 120 lbs and an extra deformed foot apparently.
 Felicity: The camera does add ten pounds
 edvard: That bitch ate a lot of cameras.
 Derp Herpigan: U ever been so mad you created a portal to a parallel dinension?
Image 218193   11-29-17 10:31pm     Uploaded by    greg
 Teechur: I think it should be labeled with "thinky parts" "RunAwayallosum" "Remembernator" Instinctamus" and "BodyMakeDo-er"
 Mr. Shine: Knit for brains!
 Not A Bot: you don't have to tell the one on the right twice
 Ulillillia: Yoshi's Wooly Brain
Image 218112   11-29-17 2:54pm     Uploaded by    Warrax
 2Berries: Your not going anywhere punk
 sirgallium: I didn't realize robocop was associated with funk music but I guess it makes sense in the time period
 Yurishiro: "I nailed Robocop."
 Niels Bohr: Funk music playing.
Image 218063   11-29-17 08:31am     Uploaded by    Gomi Day
 WaffleIron: Hey, don't their parents open carry?
 PenguinBartender: HEY BRO YOU WANNA BUILD A TREE HOUSE AND SMOKE METH? I MEAN MORE METH?
 Yurishiro: The Ramones, an origin story.
 a robot: Well that's fucking terrifying.
 duckfarts: damn girl, your overalls are way too tight
 Derp Herpigan: With this birdhouse, I can rule the world!!!! -Blue Overalls
 Not A Bot: killllllllll meeeeeeeeeeee!
 Nope: Tomas needs some lessons on how not to draw humans like troll dolls.
Image 218012   11-28-17 11:26pm     Uploaded by    binglesnort
 Catcat: It's hard to find a working Computer Lab Assistant.
 jochenau: It was just a stupid stapler until I saw that they named it "Slammy Sosa", and then it became strangely endearing.
 Amy Housewine: Looks like a cheery lil' fella.
 King Polly: He's off to join his anarchist red cousin who he heard burned down an entire office building.
 pig 3: I think Slammy left the lab, hitched a ride to the airport, and is currently sipping cocktails in Tahiti like he always dreamed since he got closer to retirement.
Image 217635   11-26-17 11:47pm     Uploaded by    god666
 SharkysMachine: I would save this forever.
 Felicity: Dont drag me into this, Muffin Top
 Dr. Bathroom: This note should be taken seriously. It was written with a twelve pack of Crayola markers.
 wolfpk: Either this was done by a young child, or someone with serious mental issues. I suspect the later. If I wss Payton I would be on my guard. Muffin top could turn into fruitcake.
 jochenau: I'd be wary of a girl who takes the time to write threat letters in 30 different colors.
 au bon pain: This is hilarious and actually believe that it happens. Preteens are fucking retarded, she's probably 12-14.
 BlarfyB: @humanfog Muffin Top's fury cannot be contained.
 humanfog: Poor kid. He's made an enemy out of "muffin top" Nobody makes an enemy out of the dreaded muffin top and lives to tell the tale.
 BlarfyB: -Your enemy, Muffin Top
 yawgmoth: Payton and Skylar. Based on their names alone, they were made for each other.
Image 217428   11-25-17 9:31pm     Uploaded by    redbranch
 Rev80: I bet Damn and Shit are now shaking in their boots, overcome with paranoia...
 Shay: Nancy Drew isn't on the case.
 Yurishiro: Now they just CAN'T give a fuck.
Image 217097   11-24-17 02:47am     Uploaded by    Supermansbrother
 Wooden Spoon: Symbol of the Net Neutrality fight we're in again thanks to Pai?
 Dick Inspector: Should be made of lego bricks
 jazzjunkie: My rolling chair's wheels are hungry though.
 Not A Bot: Sam Gamgee
 sparename: Etherthnek
Image 216762   11-22-17 11:31am     Uploaded by    grizzly
 Warrax: Would make more sense if he played for a team named after a bird.
 Scoo: When I'm in a slump, I comfort myself by committing an egregious logical fallacy. Then I bust out.
 Amy Housewine: Same.
 jochenau: Dinosaurs are awesome like that.
Image 181049   05-25-17 12:09pm     Uploaded by    dangerkeith3000
 Felicity: *(hiss)* *(chitter)* *(scuttle)*
 glenalec: This course will help you get a head
Image 215550   11-15-17 10:26pm     Uploaded by    kate shutupton
 WTF: Kids say the darndest things.
 BlarfyB: Foolish humans!
Image 214259   11-09-17 01:54am     Uploaded by    The Bees
 Ulillillia: This amiibo is TRUE and HONEST
 ElitrArceus5100: Would've been funnier if I couldn't see the rip where he obviously tore the box and replaced the original figure. Bet he paid $7 on EBay for that cancer.
 White Rice: @funny in the wall theyre figures with NFC cards in their bases. They can be used to store gameplay data (smash Bros has it where you basically make a powered up CPU character you can customize) or to unlock content (paid DLC, but you get a figure too, and they work with multiple games)
 Robespierre: Uh, ... dunno, mahn.
 WTF: @luxbu I think this is Princess Zorldo
 funny in the wall: alright, can some explain to me what an amiibo is? i have a switch and games keep making references to amiibos...
 funny in the wall: trump sonic
 sirgallium: Sanic
 tib gubb: @tib gubb amoobo
 tib gubb: sonic has moobs now
 Teh Simpson: Sonic let himself go. How fast can he run now?
 luxbu: I can't wait to get my Dankey Kang amiibo!
Image 214107   11-08-17 09:47am     Uploaded by    snekeyes
 Yurishiro: A Bruce Lee creation.
 Jaunty Shrimp: @Warrax You're such a fricken' Humpty
 Jaunty Shrimp: I bought the knockoff, "Awww, shuttupa yo face" back in the 80's
 Warrax: Yea, and then you're gonna try to sell me something to put it back together. Not falling for that again.
 glenalec: Gazumped by @Peach
 Peach: Too late, it's already pretty broken.
Image 213105   11-02-17 11:26pm     Uploaded by    Ignatius
 Catcat: @Mike Michael Now, explain how Ursarkar E. Creed is tied to kiwis.
 addend: No animals were harmed in the making of this photograph, except one.
 Amy Housewine: And that slice became New Zealand's North Island.
 Mike Michael: I think the High Lords of Terra would have a stern word or 2 with you if you killed the Lord Castellan in charge of Cadia.
Image 212355   10-30-17 12:47pm     Uploaded by    foreversmug
 mrwiffler: @In The Pocket Drog?
 DrinkMixMan: @In The Pocket Is that a portmanteau of "dog" and "frog?"
 UseYourName: Good froggo
 1979: Amphibi-Pin?
 goldman sachs: Has science gone too far?
 kittylitter: Impossible Creatures
 In The Pocket: Frog.
Image 212186   10-29-17 03:03am     Uploaded by    sunset blues
 Warrax: There will never be another like him.
 Christina: Glorious head swap.
Image 210729   10-21-17 12:03pm     Uploaded by    totaljihad
 superfudge: Def read it in his voice
 lionstrong: I NEED THIS TREE.
 a robot: Oh TannenBLUM, oh TannenBLUM....
 djublonskopf: "Merry uh Christmas."
 Sadbot: I'd be more down with Xmas if we celebrated it by watching Earth Girls Are Easy, Jurassic Park, and The Fly...in that order
 Felicity: Falalala Hahahrawrrahaha
 WTF: ...and a Goldblum in a Pear Tree.
 Warrax: Celebrity memes are the most tiresome, and that's really saying something.
 rockkstar: Jurassic Park, that is all.
Image 210453   10-19-17 10:54pm     Uploaded by    melted plastic
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