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 jochenau

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i before e except in the alphabet


 

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 jochenau's Aggro-Gator



 Rat-Butt: That cat is like "Bitch, you better be backing up with that camera" Dog is like,"Be cool, back up...and RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!"
 RalphyNoPants: FLOOFY FLOOFER?
 Brain: this pic cured my cancer
 kornisjon: I feel violated and I can't explain why.
 Sadbot: That cat looks like it should be demanding I stop expanding my borders in some Master of Orion-like
 WaffleIron: Hecking no!
Image 188014   06-28-17 3:59pm   Views: 27041   Uploaded by    myrealname
 copunter: checks out -- all my campaigns just called anyone from CN to LE a Hank. only range of alignments publicly discussed in-game without penalty
 WTF: Those Animorphs books keep getting weirder and weirder.
 Dr Awkward: This is tripping me right the fuck out.
Image 188023   06-28-17 4:44pm   Views: 27265   Uploaded by    SpamSpamSpamSpam
 piranharama: @Ihminen I was thinking about Dino Riders this morning. They were apparently working on a live action, but last news was 2015
 Skaalar: Secret Dino Wars is my Alt Punk Fushion band. Check us out at a local coffee shop near you.
 dangerkeith3000: I want one.
 Otterman: Kick ass! Throw down, dinosaurs of the land and sea!
 El Barto: @karmakat I'm more afraid of the driver than the vehicle. She looks battle ready with that helmet...or battle crazed...if I wanna live I won't waste time on semantics. I'm just gunna run my slow ass outta here.
 karmakat: he PUTS FEAR INTO THE ROAD!
 Ihminen: Dino Riders live action adaptation looking ok i guess
Image 187939   06-28-17 05:37am   Views: 28241   Uploaded by    avemaria
 zodiacflash: YESSS
 jochenau: My life is complete.
 Niels Bohr: Rave Rambo
 Ulillillia: I read the uploader's username in Sheila Broflovski's voice.
 Peter Pantsless: I'm calling username/upload combo on this one
Image 187650   06-26-17 6:59pm   Views: 82041   Uploaded by    watwatwat
 Zukero: So that's what's in "How to identify wood"
 jochenau: Honey locust blooming season is one of my favorite times of year, those things smell fantastic. The seed pods are irritating, though. Fun fact: they can ferment and get deer drunk.
 WaffleIron: Not pictured is the flatulent elm of west ruislip, or Naughty leicestershire flashing oak
 kazzy94: I think this is from a scouting manual
 Annoying Vegan : @Shay Birch is the WORST
 Shay: I'm sure these are all the trees that produce pollen I'm allergic to.
 Warrax: Wood.
 Bu7Z: The larch
Image 187654   06-26-17 7:22pm   Views: 84815   Uploaded by    Larry Xmas
 dangerkeith3000: @Felicity I remember that! It was my first R rated movie my dad took my to (I was about 11) and I couldn't believe I got to see boobs in the movies. I thought they were real looking at the time lol.
 Warrax: Really need to boresight those boob lasers.
 Felicity: @dangerkeith3000 I recently realised something about Total Recall (1990). When Benny the cabbie meets Mary the three-breasted prostitute he says he wishes he had three hands. Later he takes off his prosthetic left hand to reveal he has a mutant hand underneath, meaning that he does in fact have three hands.
 sparename: I thought that the Predator had upgraded to green lasers
 Joseph: When they point a laser or light at the sky outside a club or party, we call it a "proleten magneet".
 dangerkeith3000: @Peter Pantsless But I only have two hands!
 Peter Pantsless: Laser Tits III: 3 is Better than 2
 WaffleIron: I don't remember this TNG episode.
Image 187585   06-26-17 1:07pm   Views: 88081   Uploaded by    jimbiscuit
 Entertainmentalist: When you have a horse who never drank water, and always drank wine, birthday parties are not inexpensive.
 trelyate: we can rebuild him, we have the technology, but we blew our budget on a horse's birthday party
 tib gubb: now that's horsing around money
 Dan Tagonistic: @WaffleIron I thought it was 6 meter-dollars
 Felicity: I love that the screen font looks like a dot matrix printer font!
 a robot: Now I've got Peter, Paul and Mary stuck in my head.
 WaffleIron: Little "m" means milli - so I'm guessing millidollars. 6 millidollars (USD) is about 3 Armenian Drams.
 Annoying Vegan : Is your boyfriend a cheapskate?
Image 187613   06-26-17 3:54pm   Views: 85358   Uploaded by    hat thrab
 E. HONDA: I guess Philip K. Dick also wrote non-fiction
 Zampano: God help you if you wander into an alternate timeline where this book was never written
 Christina: A must-have set of instructions.
 dangerkeith3000: Created by Tracy Torme
 sparename: Become Ace Rimmer
 Peter Pantsless: By Cracked's own Chris Bucholz
Image 187415   06-25-17 3:44pm   Views: 109787   Uploaded by    Joetato
 canada: Came here to post that @dangerkeith3000
 E. HONDA: nuclear winter?
 dobbiesdoogs: frosty murdered everyone
 Dr Awkward: In 150 years, "there's no people" might be an accurate statement if we keep up our bullshit
 Scoo: It isn't hard to do
 Christina: Sometimes, I wish that was true.
 dangerkeith3000: There's no people like snow people.
Image 187445   06-25-17 6:32pm   Views: 114387   Uploaded by    kittylitter
 jazzjunkie: Anyone from Alaska will tell you this is perfectly normal eagle behavior.
 piranharama: Freedom fish
 Zampano: @Zampano bald, not bad. whoops
 Zampano: You get outta there bad eagle. that dumpster is for the "less fortunate" birds. You're supposed to be a national icon... Then again, Donald was elected [has a change of heart] Fine, you eat as many dumpster fish as you want. Just, ya know, try to hide towards the bottom so no one else sees you.
 Scoo: SOON
Image 187044   06-23-17 5:31pm     Uploaded by    dangerkeith3000
 tib gubb: oscar the grouch looked really weird back in the seventies
 Cami: @Felicity Rag and bone men.
 dangerkeith3000: Whatever gets you ready to exercise, man.
 WaffleIron: Same.
 Felicity: I just realised how much Junkions are like hoarders
 piranharama: Oscar the Grouch is pretty great in the graphic novel by Frank Miller
 Scoo: Do you even trashhorn, bro?
Image 187068   06-23-17 7:31pm     Uploaded by    hat thrab
 a robot: Fucking landlines, how do they work?
 Felicity: Jackie action!
 KrazyKat: Jaclie, that's not how that works.
 Mr. Shine: Jackie Chan is the man!
 fanny: how the kids from today would use a rotary phone if handed one
 sabredenton: The explanation was necessary, I thought Jackie was on ecstasy or something
 Sadbot: He still made a phone call to his mom despite bruising both ears during rehearsals of the call
Image 186815   06-22-17 3:03pm     Uploaded by    hat thrab
 redmonkey3: @Nopetology - who cares, got high
 JacksThirdEye: Wow. A worth1000 post, at least 4 years old. It's actually good to see some of these still popping up.
 Nopetology: @ChubbyBuddy You're thinking of Cane Toads. Pretty sure brightly colored tree frogs like this would just kill you dead if you tried that..
 Air Biscuit: Fruit flys dont stand a chance.
 ChubbyBuddy: i keep licking this to get high but all it does is bolster my immune system
 apoxia: Ouch
 A duck: Photoshop, motherfucker! Do you speak it?
 Warrax: Orange you glad it's not a real frog?
Image 186528   06-21-17 01:09am     Uploaded by    jazzjunkie
 jochenau: Stabo the Crabo foreva
 Borkf: ANIMALS WITH... VARIOUS WEAPONS! It's all about Black Menace; he always has the high ground.
 White Rice: @Scoo but if you lose he'll need most of your skin.
 piranharama: @Skaalar I'll see what I can do, but I really have no idea how to do Rhino-threat...
 Amy Housewine: Schoolyard legend tells of a cheat code that lets you play as Oran-Goro-Tan.
 Scoo: I want to play as Furious George
 flyingBEARfish: Honestly, Gecko Pecko doesn't get NEAR enough play in the pro tourneys. After his latest buff, his down-B 'Geck Wreck' totally shreds Rhino's block. Sure, his DPS is still pretty low, but he's got way more versatility than he gets credit for.
 White Rice: Everybody is missing that Monky Bizness has not only a bat & a...cigarette (?) but also access to all of their underlings in their organization. Monky Buzness means serious business.
 deeeeeeeez: Where's rapey turtle?
 Coolguy: Gotta go with the standard: Black Menace
 Mr. Butt: I AM POINTY BOI
 Ihminen: monky bizness all the way
 San DoDo: Cock with a glock any day of the week, what an icebreaker!
 WaffleIron: Cat with a gat will be victorious.
 Skaalar: @piranharama Do eeeeeeeeet
 Hokie333: Stabby Crabby
 piranharama: Ooh, I like Siege. I'm so tempted to draw these up now...
 Zampano: Hands down, cock with a Glock, every time
Image 186379   06-20-17 10:47am     Uploaded by    ChubbyBuddy
 Scoo: Or my son, ever again
 dangerkeith3000: and dont tread on ME
 SpaceCow: No talk, only boop.
Image 186394   06-20-17 12:47pm     Uploaded by    Gomi Day
 JacksThirdEye: She injected too many marijuanas
 Shay: Is Becky a succubus? If so, she's Taylor Swift.
 Hosebag: Oh my god, Look at her BUTT!
 Robespierre: @funny in the wall Word on the street is that Taylor Swift doesn't care for you either.
 RiderFan: Skorts, an abomination of clothing.
 Nopetology: I was having a totally kickass eternal life- walking around looking like 1990s Patrick Stewart all the time and really living the dream. Then I met Becky and snorted some of her tears. There was so much marijuana in her tears that I died instantly. I'm a ghost now, and it's all Becky's fault. I hate her so much!!
 funny in the wall: I do not care for Taylor Swift
 dangerkeith3000: I get mistaken for Becky all the time too.
 Mr. Butt: never mind the bollocks, its becky
 Robespierre: no its borckf
 Amy Housewine: No it's Beck.
 Nopetology: If you snort Earl Grey tea, it slows down the aging process and you can look exactly like Patrick Stewart did in the 1990s pretty much forever.
 Ulillillia: no its patrick
 Knice: You dumbass, it says Becky right on her.
Image 186197   06-19-17 1:07pm     Uploaded by    FunkyDrunk
 Mr. Shine: Pizza bushes comin' in reeeeeal nice this ye-ah!
 Christina: And here we see the pizza plants with ripe pizzas.
 Staida: This is why the Captain struggled so hard to disable Auto and regain control of the Axiom.
 White Rice: So, no pineapple on pizza, but pizza on pineapple if fully acceptable?
 KrazyKat: How pepperoni tequila is formed
 Robespierre: Indisputable proof that pizza IS nature's perfect food.
 SpaceCow: Nothing like wasting a pizza unless it's wasting four pizzas.
Image 186210   06-19-17 2:31pm     Uploaded by    Gomi Day
 Robespierre: Half-assed half-tone process in action.
 jochenau: All hail the storm goddess, My Butt!
 DarkTeddy: Ffff
 Mr Shifty: Sniffing so hard the cocaine goes straight to her sinuses.
 Hyphae: She is sniff-fffing so hard, the red on her dress/coat is coming off
 VoR: Sniff the triple F. Flowers. Food. Friends?
 Ulillillia: *fart*
 Nopetology: Smells like low tide
Image 186010   06-18-17 1:59pm     Uploaded by    fullofwind
 El Barto: @Wooden Spoon It's Ash Wednesday. :)
 Wooden Spoon: Wednesday Adams-apple Pikachu? I'm not getting the pun.
 El Barto: Shit yes at the pun!
 RiderFan: Cross dressing costume (crossplay) or not, its a nice cosplay.
 Sage: Took me a little bit to get it, but I did get it. I didn't want it, but I got it.
 San DoDo: You never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your lips. And there's no tenderness like before in your fingertips. You're trying hard not to show it, (baby). But baby, baby I know it...
 Greek Fire: *groans at the pun*
Image 185747   06-17-17 02:08am     Uploaded by    Peddy Tenderglass
 Bob: Hey dad, can I keep it?
 a robot: Put that thing back where it came from or so help me!
 Yam: He was pretty cute, then some jerk suffocated him for a picture
 Catcat: @Himesama Same, but I'm a boy.
 Himesama: My face when I see girls dressed better than me. (I make this face a lot)
 Xeno: The thing about a shark, it's got lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes. When it comes at you it doesn't seem to be livin'... until he bites you, and those black eyes roll over white.
 Derp Herpigan: Your dog looks sick. Might be sequelitis.
 jochenau: Aww, put lil' sharko back in the water so he can breathe.
Image 185703   06-16-17 9:41pm     Uploaded by    nuke em
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