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 Dr Awkward

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 Dr Awkward's Aggro-Gator


 Dr Awkward: Baby alpacas are called "crias". Also, alpacas and llamas have surprisingly long gestation periods.
 Unbathed: @poetrysucks you monster.
 poetrysucks: Let's go to the zoo. Alpaca lunch.
 daver: Thinkin' fold that blanket
 someguynameded: man he looks so baked
 youshall: Looks like Yzma is up to her old tricks again.
Image 215194   11-14-17 01:07am     Uploaded by    pirate
 Dr Awkward: @Hosebag Yeah, He's pretty lucky that he'll never have to live in an apartment with no grass yard, unlike our older dog. He also loves our goose, for some reason.
 Hosebag: @Dr Awkward Good job on the happy dog.
 Dr Awkward: Dis mah doggo. He's bigger now.
 Yurishiro: Good doggo. Dragon paws included.
Image 213158   11-03-17 08:47am     Uploaded by    Dr Awkward
 zrj235: Is the chair available?
 OldKentuckyShark: "Pet free home", "before you ask..."? Before you ask, a horse is not A pet, is kind of what i expected. ' Does your girlfriend like sitting on the couch?'
 Weather: All jokes aside I know of at least two or three horses at the stable I used to work at that would walk right into your house and hog the couch.
 minimum max: That's a huge dog! What breed is that?
 caitelyn: Hold your horses...the chair isn't available? It's the mane attraction of this ad...
 ChubbyBuddy: @tiffany the horse wrote the ad
 tiffany: "Pet free home."
Image 210274   10-19-17 01:07am     Uploaded by    mission2mars
 my wheelhouse: @Dr Awkward lolz
 Dr Awkward: @Annoying Vegan Oh, he knows. :)
 Annoying Vegan : @Dr Awkward He is downright elegant.
 dangerkeith3000: Forget what Right Said Fred sang. No one is too sexy for this cat. What you think about that?
 Dr Awkward: Dis mah cat. He's a good snuggle buddy when he's not chewing on my GD fingers
 Felicity: The mighty hunter
Image 207055   10-02-17 8:03pm     Uploaded by    Dr Awkward
 PushyWebsite: Out of court settlements happened more often than being found "not guilty."
 dangerkeith3000: @BILL DOOR Thriller was amazing. And OJ Simpson was found not guilty so he obviously didn't kill 2 people in cold blood and our justice system always works and Trayvon Martin must have deserved to be shot. And I was making a joke. It's not like I'm going to hurt his feelings.
 Ulillillia: MJ IS NICE.
 BILL DOOR: ALSO HE MADE THRILLER. THRILLER WAS AMAZING.
 BILL DOOR: @dangerkeith3000 DESPITE WHAT THE MEDIA WOULD HAVE YOU BELIEVE HE WAS FOUND 'NOT GUILTY' OF THOSE ALLEGATIONS AND WE MUST ABIDE BY THOSE RULINGS, FOR IF WE DO NOT FOLLOW THE WORD OF LAW THEN WE OPEN OURSELVES TO GREATER INJUSTICES. FURTHERMORE, HE WAS ONE OF THE CENTURY'S GREATEST ENTERTAINERS, ONE WHO PUT HIS HEART AND SOUL INTO HIS WORK, AND FOR THAT AT LEAST WE SHOULD HONOR HIS MEMORY.
 Sage: ... Who's underwear is that?
 Ulillillia: If it were anyone else, I would think this is an unusual picture.
Image 206997   10-02-17 3:07pm     Uploaded by    pleasing
 Yurishiro: U cant defeat humans c'mon,bee real
 Skaalar: @Dr Awkward Goddamnit, how did I not notice that lol
 Dr Awkward: @Dr Awkward Nope, that ain't it
 Dr Awkward: @Skaalar hmmm... "crops"
 Skaalar: Dying out and leaving 1/3 of all whack offs on earth unpollinated was the plan.
Image 202374   09-09-17 02:54am     Uploaded by    carpwoman
 Dr Awkward: I just realized that this image and my username are both palindromes! Symmetry!
 Mad Collager: Well sweet child, I must go now. Otherwise my interest in these formulae will kill me.
 Bluetocracy: Ahhh... That's why the model for object displacement via quantum gravitic warp variances is named 'The Fluffykins-Pumpkin Formula'
 Science: "So, you see, I'm simultaneously alive AND dead , as long as nobody looks in the box!"
Image 202202   09-08-17 08:47am     Uploaded by    Dr Awkward
 Dr Awkward: @Niels Bohr Oh rad, I love the western slope. My wife and I used to live on the front range and did our honeymoon our in that area (wineries!). She also lived in Crawford for a month, looking after some horses.
 Niels Bohr: @Dr Awkward hellos from Fruita, CO. The west is the best, especially the high desert.
 Dr Awkward: @fanny Thanks!!
 Dr Awkward: @Niels Bohr Northern AZ. The part of AZ that doesn't make you melt to death.
 Ted Hebert: I sas a goat eat a tin can once. It changed me.
 fanny: and i thought they were RAD even before i knew they were your actual goats @Dr Awkward!! extra RAD!
 Ulillillia: Totes
 Niels Bohr: @Dr Awkward this is beautiful. Where are you?
 Dr Awkward: Deez mah goats :)
Image 201031   09-02-17 10:47am     Uploaded by    Dr Awkward
 Lantry: @Ulillillia and let me play among the stars?
 Donut: Let's see...96, 97, 98...Harry, we need one more red balloon.
 Ulillillia: Fly me with balloons o/
Image 200805   09-01-17 05:48am     Uploaded by    BaconCake
 Dr Awkward: @dangerkeith3000 I'm part scandinavian, so I don't tan too well. Plus this was in March (a decade ago, actually)
 piranharama: The spice flowed
 dangerkeith3000: time to get a tan on those cheeks
Image 199455   08-25-17 11:26am     Uploaded by    Dr Awkward
 Nopetology: @dangerous dave @tib gubb @Dr Awkward I was also thinking that it could be a grass skirt at first, but a grass skirt being so close to the huge package of spaghetti on top of the desk seemed unlikely..
 dangerous dave: @Dr Awkward My eye went straight to the noodles on the chair, too. TBH, I hadn't even seen the stain on the floor -- which probably tells you even *more* about my childhood, if it comes to that.
 Dr Awkward: @LancesLeftNut @tib gubb Uh, grass hula skirt is my best bet... I don't remember any of my roomates practicing Pastafarianism
 tib gubb: @Dr Awkward no man, there are noodles on the chair. NOODLES ON THE CHAIR!
 Dr Awkward: @petepuma @Side Boob @tib gubb @dangerous dave @Knice @LancesLeftNut @Nopetology Ok, so the real story here: I rented a room in a house during grad school, and shared the house with 3 other guys (all undergrads... that explains the general grossness of the house). Anyway, one weekend everyone else was gone, and I woke up to a loud pop. I ran out to the dining room and that is what I saw. My heart was racing, as I thought there was a murder, but it was just a juice concentrate that had apparently started to ferment in the container and exploded from the pressure.
 petepuma: there's vomit on his sweater already
 Side Boob: What's with the CSI pictures?
 tib gubb: i'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that there were some drugs involved here at some point
 dangerous dave: I hate that I have a strong suspicion that I know what's happened here -- because I hate that, if this were a photo from my childhood, what it would be is evidence of a parental squabble that got so petty and childish that the two supposed adults in the room eventually just flipped out and started hurling the food and dishes at each other.
 LancesLeftNut: Is that basghetti, or just a grass hula skirt? Those would be some long ass noodles...
 Knice: Time for fire.
 Nopetology: I was sure this was a crime scene at first. Now I'm just wondering how someone can fail at making spaghetti on such a massive scale. Username/upload, perhaps?
Image 199438   08-25-17 08:47am     Uploaded by    Dr Awkward
 Ronick: Why doesn't this have a watermark yet, ita been posted atleast seven times tjis month
 Robespierre: "Musta made a wrong turn at Albuquerque."
 funny in the wall: That's sad, I'm sorry @kinggheedra
 El Barto: You're not the boss of me, Mum. I go where I like. Maybe I want to get stuck in the pond for 2 days and bathe in my own excrement...did you ever think of that?
 kinggheedra: This picture stressed me out so i googled donkeys so i could look at donkeys who were ok. But the first search result was about an arkansas man who raped a donkey and now i feel worse.
 Teechur: Is he STILL stuck in that hole?
 ASTER: Help him!!
 Scoo: I can't tell the difference
 ignatz: Christ what an asshole
Image 195114   08-03-17 11:47am     Uploaded by    Dr Awkward
 XLY: they say things like swag, yolo, and have more fidget spinners than hands at all times
 Air Biscuit: Are they named "scradly"
 Dr Awkward: "Fart."
 Amy Housewine: 'Know' in the Biblical sense.
 DrinkMixMan: They giggle when they hear the word "cockroach?"
 redmonkey3: By taste ?
Image 194070   07-29-17 01:38am     Uploaded by    brutal
 Hosebag: They both have bear arms.
 SomeCanadian: Your dog is big.
 Rev80: Disney movies are looking more and more realistic all the time..
 SunWukong: Nomf.
 a robot: The Bear and the Maiden Fair
 Christina: The Beauty and the Bear.
Image 193923   07-28-17 11:26am     Uploaded by    Dr Awkward
 Felicity: At least its programmed to lie to spare your feelings, like in Isaac Asimovs Liar!
 ASTER: @SunWukong I didn't know we even had two Orns to choose from.
 Hosebag: Everybody, let's give it up for Humor-Bot 5.0.
 Ihminen: "Fully Integrated Security Technotronic Officer or F.I.S.T.O. Please assume the position."
 Scoo: Uhh... Beep Boop Beep
 Scoo: Just because one is programmed to be /able/ to love, doesn't mean one /does/
 SunWukong: I LIKE BOTHORN!!!
Image 193134   07-24-17 12:47pm     Uploaded by    Dr Awkward
Image IGD   07-21-17 09:43am     Uploaded by    Dr Awkward
 Rev80: This is why you don't chug a mayonnaise milkshake..
 Spazstatic: Also lives in Taiwan.
 Spazstatic: Oh, it's M38. He's The original motorcycle vlogger or something, loves in Taiwan. Last I checked he had broken his legs in an accident.
 Felicity: This is why they close the dining area at noon
 Thurb Grunombies: Too hot?
 bug: Username upload combo
 dangerkeith3000: slurp it up from your helmet.
 Psymon: What did you expect from a McDonalds shake?
 trelyate: "so, uh, you gonna eat that barf?"
Image 191841   07-17-17 9:26pm     Uploaded by    Dr Awkward
 Aemuli: Mom and dad, what's the Super Bowl?
 scribbs: "Mom! Dad! Gross!"
Image 191219   07-14-17 6:26pm     Uploaded by    Dr Awkward
Image IDY   07-14-17 4:21pm     Uploaded by    Dr Awkward
 Dr Awkward: @DrinkMixMan Awesome, Phoenix is a place I go to, so I may have to check it out!
 DrinkMixMan: @Dr Awkward Art gallery in the Phoenix, AZ area. Artist is Martin Wittfooth. He does a great job with the color of the fire.
 Dr Awkward: @DrinkMixMan Oh cool, where?
 DrinkMixMan: I've seen this painting in person a few times. Photo doesn't do justice to vibrancy of the actual image.
 Kim: My world's on fire. How 'bout yours?
 Felicity: Memory overload
 piranharama: Elephlambe!
 SomeCanadian: *INSERT WITTY STATEMENT ABOUT AMERICAN POLITICS*
 Wet farts: This is fine
Image 191158   07-14-17 12:47pm     Uploaded by    Dr Awkward
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