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 Bernie 2016

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 Bernie 2016's Aggro-Gator

 well duh: ... can't find the cat before she has to leave. After work, 10 hours later, we manage to coax her out of hiding with treats, cough drop still stuck to her hip, we had to cut it off. Poor kitty had been licking at it all day trying to remove it. After that, if anyone sneezed in the house she would disappear for hours.
 well duh: So, like 17 yrs ago, when we still smoked, my wife would eat spearmint Hall's cough drops like candy. We had a skinny, super skittish cat named Smokey - scared of her own shadow etc. One day, wife is getting ready for work, projectile sneezes (this is a thing with her), hits Smokey square in the left hip, cough drop sticks, cat bolts for the basement...
 fanny: cute cat sad username :'(
 Hyphae: @Hyphae oh, it's a "size large sticker"... I had a horrible flashback to when one of my little kitties was playing under the house, and came back with a huge hole in his side
 Hyphae: What you got stuck on your side there, kitty?
 Greifer: lefty?!
Image 226478   01-12-18 7:22pm   Views: 145573   Uploaded by    Bernie 2016
 Staida: Can tell from drawing they are furry. What are these hints? I want them quantified so I can explain it.
 Skaalar: Saving this one
 Yurishiro: I Now understand more Bison from street fighter.
 qazwsx: "I can't give you grandkids Dad because I'm gay." "Whelp, that's the end of the Gnu's" "And now for the weather."
 ignatz: Never talk to me or my bibisonson again..
Image 224661   01-03-18 07:11am     Uploaded by    Bernie 2016
 addend: (Circles boxes.)
 Air Biscuit: You need an x because there will be pirate treasure in the box.
Image 224331   01-01-18 2:21pm     Uploaded by    Bernie 2016
 VeeKay: @jayjay They didn't tell you about the Blush Viper?
 Robespierre: Needs a shave.
 l0dan: whats the made out of leaves?
 Tiny Butt: Someone send a raven to Meereen, cause it looks like Danerys has some 'splainin to do. Also, watch your sheepSpoilersand small children.
 jayjay: The actual snake is green. It is shoppes to look red. I believe it's actually called a Bush Viper.
Image 224109   12-31-17 09:31am     Uploaded by    Bernie 2016
 VeeKay: @jazzjunkie Amazon UK
 some guy : I draw the line at thumbtacks.
 jazzjunkie: I've searched high and low for one of these in stores; at this point, I may resort to going to buying clear resin and barbed wire.
 Mr. Shine: Edgy. I'll just go in your sink.
 Shay: Metaphor of what your arse feels after a KFC/Taco Bell double-dip.
Image 224001   12-30-17 6:09pm     Uploaded by    Bernie 2016
 Robespierre: The reincarnation of the "I Didn't Do It" boy.
 Side Boob: @zip file Still a good boy. 10/10 Would pet
 Not A Bot: now show us the number of Iraqis killed
 alex: Someone broke into the house, pooped on the floor, and I love you so much.
 zip file: Emptied your bank account, playing online poker.
Image 221780   12-18-17 10:58pm     Uploaded by    Bernie 2016
 Mr Bleak: It's to make it easier to drink once the wall is in place.
 glenalec: When the bottle looks strait, you've had enough.
 doggggggie: Which side did it defect to?
 jokertothethief: I had no idea that inanimate objects could defect.
 ThatGuy: 6.5/10 not Klein bottle enough
 Felicity: If this stuff is too nice for you, Ive got some crap!
 sparename: A trend in the 80's(?) UK was to melt Coke bottles like this and sell them on markets, they looked cool for a while but if left in sunlight, the Coke fizzed up and the thin bits of the bottle couldn't contain the pressure...
 tib gubb: sometimes when life gives you a bottling facility malfunction, you just gotta go with it.
 kornisjon: Good bottle to drink from laying down, possibly.
 trucker: Nah, those are everywhere when you go to 5th ave in playa del carmen. Not defective they're made that way.
Image 221179   12-15-17 6:54pm     Uploaded by    Bernie 2016
 jochenau: @addend Ah good call.
 Flarmie: @cenecia Damn, I wish my name was Larry or Isaac. Instead I have to figure out what to do with that T monstrosity.
 addend: @jochenau The axis of rotation is the left edge.
 jochenau: I think you did J wrong...
 cenecia: Your buttplug is assigned to you by the first letter of your name.
 Rev80: Most tedious substitution code ever..
Image 221077   12-15-17 06:42am     Uploaded by    Bernie 2016
 Science: My cat licked a pumpkin pie that we had set out one Thanksgiving, leaving tongue marks everywhere. We ate the pie anyway.
 Robespierre: Hm. How exactly does this mane work?
 BavidDowie: @ignatz It's all about the U bout the U
 ignatz: Doesn't matter, licked ham. Still not sure why they gave me top prize, but hey! Lion Mane!
 ThoughtlessGentleman: for the umpteenbajillioneth time I would love to see either the feline that can write english and in this case cook hams OR the human who has birthed a feline.
 Peter Pantsless: Whoa, your mother, a cat, was able to cook a ham and put it one the counter?
 Punt Numbles: I assume "mom" is wearing the Wig of Shame for not putting meat back in the fridge where it belongs...
Image 220792   12-13-17 6:21pm     Uploaded by    Bernie 2016
Cmon. Leave a comment. Don't be afraid.
Image 220616   12-12-17 7:44pm     Uploaded by    Bernie 2016
 DerMantis: I want your dogs
 Beer 30: Strikingly human expressions on their faces.
 sumo: Looks like the guys from flight of the conchords
 charlemagne: mum was so proud when little fido finally came out. dad just stared
 Fugative: Max wanted to spend his day off chasing cars with the rest of his pack but Lola somehow convinced him to go apple picking "it will be fun" she said
 Dorb: Get that dog some ears
Image 218478   12-01-17 1:09pm     Uploaded by    Bernie 2016
 Peter Pantsless: That moment when you don't get the joke
 Whatever: The moment you discover youre allergic to avocados
 duckfarts: that moment when the jury finds you not guilty of arson
 Nope: That moment when you see memes and real life and just feel lots of shame.
Image 216498   11-20-17 11:13pm     Uploaded by    Bernie 2016
 Mr Bleak: I wanna know how that camera is supporting the weight of all those heavy traffic lights.
 Ulillillia: no u
 Korrok: Aw yeah.
 ignatz: No Fishing
 ThoughtlessGentleman: turn down for what?!
 skylark: If it was the other way up, it would clearly state no 'n-turns'.
 nerdhulk: No arriving from space then deciding you want to go back to your home planet.
 MabelSyrup: One of the rarely seen, "No Them-Turn" signs
 macrocosm: I don't see what is wrong. It clearly states that vehicles coming from opposite direction are not allowed to make a U turn.
Image 214283   11-09-17 06:47am     Uploaded by    Bernie 2016
 Ulillillia: Done and done.
 Felicity: The scientist or the rock band?
 DrinkMixMan: Haha, classic Nikola
 Mr. Whiskers: Pshh - they were already here when I was born
 Yurishiro: Or not actually, but meh, fuck off random reader I hope you will live a miserable existence.
 Mr. Butt: He predicted The YouTube Ad-pocalypse, truly a man before his time.
 Nope: He predicted Kevin Can Wait, truly a man before his time.
 nclaw: He predicted Star Wars: Phantom Menace, truly a man before his time.
Image 214097   11-08-17 07:47am     Uploaded by    Bernie 2016
 glenalec: You can smell the pimple-cream.
 WTF: @Amy Housewine ...and to think he was in those Home Alone movies before becoming a musician.
 Ulillillia: troll level 1997
 Amy Housewine: Kirk O'Bane is my favourite member.
 Prostata: troll level 2005
Image 212832   11-01-17 3:46pm     Uploaded by    Bernie 2016
 Micro Jackson: Great now let's eat before Lori gets here
 KickassHellyeah: "Best" friend....
 demonius: Is the friend's name Shane by chance?
 Morpen Lungus: One day I want to have a neighbor as cool as you. A little humor goes a long way when you're dealing with something like that!
Image 211123   10-23-17 2:58pm     Uploaded by    Bernie 2016
 Mr Bleak: @let it go Note: "a cat". Multiple cats is incipient Mad Cat Personhood.
 Mr Bleak: @let it go Because a house without a cat is not a home.
 apoxia: @Christina Cats are crepuscular, not nocturnal.
 DarkTeddy: Holy shit @Side Boob
 Side Boob: @DarkTeddy It's a little guy shrugging :P
 DarkTeddy: Is v0v a side boob @Side Boob
 Ulillillia: @let it go Someone told me that they are nice.
 Sthenolaidas: @let it go I have always wondered about this
 Unbathed: @let it go mice.
 Christina: Cats are nocturnal animals.
 Side Boob: My cats were always on my schedule. vOv
 house md: Right. Now.
 confession: You're supposed to be nocturnal too.
 boomboomboom: Right. Now.
 let it go: Again, why do you people adopt these selfish, arrogant little pisspots as pets?
Image 210491   10-20-17 03:47am     Uploaded by    Bernie 2016
 Felicity: It is Dan Aykroyd, but hes making a Peter Jason facial expression
 Skinr: @a robot Wish I could tell ya, but I just don't know.
 a robot: Is that Dan Aykroyd? Isn't he Canadian?
Image 208685   10-11-17 12:26pm     Uploaded by    Bernie 2016
Comment below (name is optional.)
Image 208014   10-07-17 5:03pm     Uploaded by    Bernie 2016
 Felicity: It looks like someone dove in headfirst
 Beeble: Nov1.jpg
 msmstud: @Knice -- Nice.
 Knice: @Warrax :-D
 UltraBeverly: Straight to the latte factory with you!
 Dr Awkward: My goats just got sad that these are not being delivered to our house.
 Side Boob: Oh the humanity!
 Warrax: @Knice I could dance if these were burning.
 Knice: Pumpster. (Side note: Pumpster is my porn name.)
Image 207595   10-05-17 3:03pm     Uploaded by    Bernie 2016
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