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268907  ThoughtlessGentleman: "I just shat myself unexpectedly."

268376  Science: @tib gubb: "Distress signal" implies the grass is giving a warning. That smell is the release of chemicals that seal up the cut portion of the plant. That's it. Plants don't have a brain or central nervous system, and therefore, cannot feel pain. They can produce a response to stimuli, but that isn't the same as responding to pain.

268386  Science: @wordjones: "Man Attacked by Babies." It's in Oslo. There are a LOT of weird naked statues in that park.

268903  FabricMan: If it looks like that, you might have dia-BEE-tes

268417  Science: Adam didn't get a job, because employers saw this billboard stunt and immediately determined he makes bad financial decisions.

267848  Mr Bleak: You're a Wizard @Albo Grungus! Now fuck off to Hogwarts.

268903  MrBoffo: Oooohhh - got it down to 1

268535  Science: It does there too. They just cut that off and sell the rest to you.

268878  Shay: Good thing that dog is covered by Aflac.

268899  Shay: DENTAL PLAN

268903  Shay: How?

268904  Shay: Is that Penn?

268903  a robot: Why.

268912  MC Delta T: I want it!

268878  Otterman: This seems like it would be a great ventriloquism act

268802  Science: @Shay: I've got a secondhand apron...

268897  Otterman: Priest hidden behind painting

268893  Science: Step 1...

268750  nathan: came here to post that @caesar

268865  charlemagne: I know this is a big inside joke but I'm choosing not to investigate it

Search comments:



These users have commented the most in the past 24 hours:

1. VeeKay
2. MrBoffo
3. Not A Bot
4. a robot
5. ignatz
6. Teechur
7. tib gubb
8. addend
9. Shay
10. Annoying Vegan



The top ten most commented-on images today:

268710 antipatterns: Other cops include: judges, army guys, teachers, hr people, and your mom and dad

268539 Mr. Whiskers: Im going to stop beating jokes to death in online comments

268707 Side Boob: Can I leave the girl in the shelter, or do I have to adopt them together?

268497 Scoo: murica.jpg

268611 fanny: yeah the content outweighs the upload/username combo for me too... bad @Felicity

268687 raditzu: Party Hard

268713 WannaBee: Nice buns, hun.

268730 Not A Bot: don't look at me, I'm irrelevant

268610 snipdawg: @WannaBee hug

268624 Shay: @Dr. Bathroom Oh damn, I remember watching that abortion special with Charlton Heston on late night TV and gave me the hibbie jibbies.



The highest-scored images of the past 48 hours:

KEKOEKEOEK uploaded 268416 (934 points)
nuke em uploaded 268597 (864 points)
Gallifrasian uploaded 268733 (850 points)
E. HONDA uploaded 268480 (782 points)
VeeKay uploaded 268432 (773 points)
Zaxxoff uploaded 268481 (761 points)
Zaxxoff uploaded 268820 (751 points)
Crim Tender uploaded 268647 (748 points)
Shay uploaded 268444 (744 points)
DogsRGreat uploaded 268645 (744 points)
Cyka uploaded 268401 (725 points)
million laffs uploaded 268651 (724 points)
foreversmug uploaded 268397 (716 points)
Relp uploaded 268554 (712 points)
ChubbyBuddy uploaded 268805 (709 points)


These users have uploaded images which have received the most "rad" points in the past week:

 1. E. HONDA: 3775 points
 2. Annoying Vegan : 3561 points
 3. Zaxxoff: 2523 points
 4. Shay: 2018 points
 5. VeeKay: 1797 points
 6. Murm Gungus: 1725 points
 7. CompletelyJoking: 1628 points
 8. beyardo: 1584 points
 9. Sydney: 1578 points
10. ChubbyBuddy: 1553 points
11. dangerkeith3000: 1543 points
12. poetrysucks: 1535 points
13. frenk: 1527 points
14. MrBoffo: 1514 points
15. wolfskin: 1451 points
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Score:
580
 
 weirduncle: It's now been formally anointed as a full member of the Star Alliance
 carpwoman: That is some timing.
 dobbiesdoogs: "....let's rent a car." "across the ocean?" "yes."
 duckfarts: cut that shit out, gandalf
 piranharama: Watch out for the langoliers!
 scribbs: That plane got goosed by Zeus!
 Thurb Grunombies: Billy Batson's later career in luggage handling
 androbot: "Now boarding: first class, families with children under five, and Zeus."
Image 168656   03-20-17   Uploaded by    Lorm Bembo
Score:
786
 
 yev: imagine the rain of gold, not a torrent, just a shower
 ThatGuy: Always...
 El Barto: That's the mantra Roger utters every time he takes a wizz. But old age has caught up with him and that luxury is gone.
 jochenau: @tokyopig Please translate with imprecision and artistry.
 Bu7Z: No 'spray n pray' allowed
 carpwoman: I usually do.
 tib gubb: this is advice to live your life by
 duckfarts: sorry, it's hard to splitfire cleanly
 scribbs: @a sedated moose If you're brave enough!
 tokyopig: What??? It says 'thank you for using the toilet cleanly' who the hell translated this?
 a sedated moose: @scribbs manly gusto?
 scribbs: ...and shit with gusto!
 SgtScaredFrog: I'm sorry, are you suggesting that sometimes I don't?!
 Beef Supreme: I prefer the blunderbuss approach.
 Mr. Whiskers: Pick one or the other
 fanny: Pinkies up!
 sparename: Pisstine Pissision, Pees
Image 168655   03-20-17   Uploaded by    Micro Jackson
Score:
631
 
 WaffleIron: @Wooden Spoon : Burning the place to the ground and blaming it on a guest sounds easier than cleaning the carpets.
 Wooden Spoon: @WaffleIron: you want insane? I worked in a motel where they put white carpet in rooms with real wood burning fireplaces. Lasted 2 weeks.
 WaffleIron: @scribbs : I cant imagine any sane dog owner having a white carpet.
 scribbs: Just waiting to roll on Owner's white carpet.
 sparename: Nyan Dog
 celebgate: What did we ever do to deserve dogs?
Image 168654   03-20-17   Uploaded by    violentwrath
Score:
1283
 
 Wooden Spoon: Those are stuffed kittens and that cat is insulted.
 El Barto: Holy shit, 13 black cats?! I bet you just give them mirrors to break all day long, don't ya?
 carpwoman: Is this some sort of joke, Helen?
 BavidDowie: Four and twenty black kits baked in a pie
 guest: lol look at my man at 5 o'clock
 Mad Collager: Look out! That tomato is about to release its spawn!
 Mad Collager: Look out! That tomato is about to release its spawn!
 EH: Ctrl+c, Ctrl+v
 annterland: CAT catcatcatcatcatcatcatcatcatcatcat
 ch: do you hear me mittens [FX: hundred-yard stare continues]
 Side Boob: Needs googly eyes
 ch: you made all of this nonsense mittens you're going to have to take care of them all forever
 Scoo: The pumpkin bed is purrfect :)
 piranharama: Hmm, soot spirits.
 Peter Pantsless: Jesus, it's like a bad luck nuke
Image 168653   03-20-17   Uploaded by    Mexico
Score:
493
 
 Peter Pantsless: @enfanta Your idea sounds awesome. A library, of sorts. But just think about, all those assholes, and then...fuck it, I'm tired. Y'all know what I mean. Godspeed @enfanta; you're...cool. I like you
 enfanta: @Peter Pantsless "You've never been to a stupid, worthless aggregator site?" It's entirely possible that I have but I didn't know that's the name for it. I imagine an aggregater site would be a kind of warehouse of images, each carefully tagged so I could switcherino to my heart's content. As I haven't done that yet, I guessed that I've never been to one.
 Peter Pantsless: @enfanta I actually don't properly know what that is. I don't use social media, unless you count AG.
 enfanta: @Peter Pantsless Does Pinterest count?
 Peter Pantsless: @enfanta Wait, what? You've never been to a stupid, worthless aggregator site? You've never mistakenly clicked on a link you shouldn't have? You've never let curiosity get the best of you? I don't believe it
 enfanta: @Peter Pantsless well, now I have to Google "image aggrogater site." I've just been going to all my favorite sites individually. Pfft!
 Peter Pantsless: @enfanta I found it on an image aggregator site and just thought it was funny! I didn't do the research
 enfanta: @Peter Pantsless wait, YOU posted this image! How did you find it if not on Amazon?
 enfanta: @Peter Pantsless well, he IS a "cat lover." 0o
 Peter Pantsless: @enfanta Whoa whoa whoa wait, is that real? If so, this is SUPER creepy! Is "Osenlund" the last name of...the DOG? Did he marry them? But wait..."and a dog, who shall remain nameless." But you just said his name was Chase...Okay, this is way more fucked up than I have the capacity to understand. Man, fuck my cat joke, right?
 enfanta: @Peter Pantsless HA! I had it backwards! "About the Author Brandon Schultz is a lifelong cat lover who has lived with more cats than people and loves to cook. He is the author of The Taco Revolution, and his cat, Lucy, allows him to share her apartment in Brooklyn, New York, along with their dog, Chase. Lucy Schultz-Osenlund is a seasoned food taster and invaluable sous chef who prefers water glasses to bowls and loves the sound of can openers in use. She is particularly fond of ice cream and is notoriously vocal with her strong opinions. She is 5 1/2 years old and lives in Brooklyn, New York, with a human and a dog, who shall remain nameless."
 Peter Pantsless: @enfanta Typically, at least in the US, the married name comes second. Lucy is married, but her spouse's name is "Osenlund" and her maiden name is "Schultz"
 enfanta: @Peter Pantsless I think she just hyphenated her maiden and married name.
 Peter Pantsless: @fanny The names lead me to believe that this was written by a brother-sister team, which somehow makes this even creepier
 BILL DOOR: I LIKE THIS BOOK.
 jochenau: Precisely zero of those meals look healthy for cats.
 enfanta: @fanny the cat is named Brandon.
 carpwoman: @Mad Collager - Bwaaahahaha! YOU win the internet today!
 ThoughtlessGentleman: I see someone trying to slurp spaghetti noodles with their cat here.
 Mad Collager: @WTF Because someone will not shut it.
 ch: @WTF that is the pie window so everyone can tell what jagoff flavor the pie cook (or "piook") selectorated
 fanny: Lucy Schultz-Osenlund is a strange name for a cat.
 ch: mittens you're doing three-dimensional spacetime wrong MITTENS
 Zampano: @WTF that's a good question. Especially because your average run of the mill crazy cat lady, is a lady
 WTF: Why does that pie have a hole in it?
Image 168652   03-20-17   Uploaded by    Peter Pantsless
Score:
562
 
 BILL DOOR: FANTASY AND SCIENCE FICTION ARE THE SAME GENRE. WHETHER THE PLOT DEVICE IS ACTIVATED VIA MAGIC WORDS OR A BUTTON ON A CONSOLE, FALSEHOOD IS FALSEHOOD. HARD SCIENCE FICTION IS JUST FANTASY WITH THEORETICAL PHYSICS COPIED AND PASTED FROM WIKIPEDIA TAPED IN.
 Bu7Z: @CastleBravo it's becaus a lot of what gets called science fiction is really just fantasy in the future. Hence the distinction 'hard' science fiction...
 tokyopig: [nerd cough] ahem, low fantasy is not bullshit my friend.
 scribbs: @CastleBravo Our Borders got replaced by Books-a-Million and they stack all the horror with general fiction or literature, depending apparently on some slob's judgment. On the flip-side, a local bookstore has sections for the finest gradations of Asian religions, but put Thomas Aquinas in the same section as Jerry Falwell. I visit neither store but very rarely.
 Sadbot: I used to work for a catering joint, have had that haircut, and hold that opinion. Party Down hits close to home.
 Zampano: Me too
 CastleBravo: I will admit to being irritated that most bookstores placed Fantasy and Sci-Fi in the same section. Might help explain why I haven't bought a book in one in years.
Image 168651   03-20-17   Uploaded by    Jak
Score:
361
 
 Peter Pantsless: @Himesama *wet saddle contest
 Knice: @fanny Hahah, gross.
 ch: Moist Owlette. I'll come in again. "Moist ... OWLETTE!" No, thank you for coming though. Next please.
 fanny: Is your girlfriend making waffles?
 piranharama: Mmm, so fresh!
 Himesama: My girlfriend won 1st place at the wet tshirt contest.
 Scoo: Is your girlfriend in an Herbal Essences ad?
 Shay: Is your girlfriend all hot and bothered?
Image 168650   03-20-17   Uploaded by    rustedpeace
Score:
561
 
 Thurb Grunombies: Google, why do all my chairs make my neck hurt?
 bug: *Googles: How to do a fireball*
 Mexico: Even Lord Enma has to modernize his business.
 Peter Pantsless: "Wow, it's like I'm actually IN the game!"
Image 168649   03-20-17   Uploaded by    hat thrab
Score:
403
 
 WaffleIron: naaaaaa, nananananana katamari damacy!
 ch: That became geospatial quickly
 DrinkMixMan: On the shores of the cosmic ocean
 trelyate: I knew the earth was flat! It ends right there!
Image 168648   03-20-17   Uploaded by    SunWukong
Score:
751
 
 Dick Inspector: @jochenau Totally!
 raditzu: "Friendly kitty looking for home. He's nice, loves to be pet, totally not aggresive."
 jochenau: @Dick Inspector Whence/hence/thence are awesome and I think we should bring them back, but whither/hither/thither would be even better.
 carpwoman: Nature's way of saying "Do not touch."
 WaffleIron: @Dick Inspector : I'd get angry too if my watermelon wasn't fair trade and free range. It's a very important question, this "from whence".
 Dick Inspector: @ch *Wo. 'woher' = 'whence, from where'
 ch: WOHER IST MEINE WASSERMELONE
 a sedated moose: I now know what hatred looks like.
 piranharama: Bzzzzzzt!
 Knice: DANGERFLOOF ENGAGED.
 scribbs: Just bumped into a former lover.
Image 168647   03-20-17   Uploaded by    kate2point0
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